7 More Nights.

"We made it."

Oh, how I am longing to say these words as I wrap her in a hug. Salt Lake City International Airport sounds like the most romantic place on this planet at this point.  There's nothing I want more than to have her run off of her plane and jump into my arms.  And now, I only have to wait 7 days until that's a reality.

Seven days.

It's closer than I ever thought we'd be and, honestly, I didn't think I would make it this far.  I thought I could have tricked her into coming home before it got to this point.  But now that we're here, I'm so incredibly proud of her.  She has been working 40+ hours a week for 4 months and surviving the Disney College Program.  She has enjoyed it, made new friends, made memories that will hopefully last forever, blah blah blah stuff I tell myself to make this okay, etc.  But I really am excited for her.  She has been wanting to do this for a long time and she finally made it a reality.  

Yes, I've been lonely.

I've been sad.

I've been scared.

I've been a million things since she has been gone, but that doesn't matter now.

We made it.

I find myself in better spirits lately, the last few days, and I think it's because my heart can feel hers getting closer.  I am starting to realize that it is over, for the most part, and we're in the final stretch.  I have made it through 120 days apart and I only have 7 left.  I can do this. 

I need to thank Whit, though, for being so awesome while she's been gone.  I didn't expect much from her when she left because I knew it was going to be so hard for her to work and try and balance me.  I was ready to take a back seat to everything there and thankfully, I haven't felt that way once.  She has been incredibly caring and always been here for me to talk to about anything that's going on in my life.  If I needed her to distract me from something, she'd call me.  She Skype'd with me on nights I was lonely, called me every day, sent me beautiful pictures, did everything in her power to make me feel comfortable and loved.  She has been a million times better than I ever deserved and I can't wait to repay it.  

(She even got me the coolest present for christmas! A new slackline for us to use together in the spring and summer!)

Anyway, I really don't deserve her and I'm blown away by how great she has been to me while she's been gone.  It gets me really excited for the time we have ahead of us and how much love we're going to be able to show for one another. 

She truly brings a rainbow of color into my world of gray.

So now, when things get hard in the future, when we start to get on each others' nerves, when she gets sick of my puns and I get sick of being the one to always have to walk Sawyer (which won't really happen. He's my best friend.), we can look back on this time and realize that time apart is never better than time together.  We had enough time apart to last an eternity and I hope I never have to go through that again.

Just a little update on how things are going here with Sawyer and I:  I got home tonight and heated up a roll with peanut butter and honey on it, went to the bathroom, and came back to the bedroom, only to see sawyer licking his lips and trying to get the peanut butter out of his mouth.  He has also found out how to open his kennel with his paws, so now I have to tie the door shut with something as well as close the latches.  He has recently acquired a taste for anything that's not his toys.  Mainly shoes, jackets, blankets, a ball-point pen that he broke and got ink on 4 of my blankets and the mattress (sorry Whit.....) Basically anything that will make me mad when I get off work at midnight.  We walk every day except in the most extreme of St. George colds, he has really gotten good at speaking and rolling over, he loves to chase a baseball at the park, loves to run in the sand volleyball courts, pretty much never leaves my side.  This little pup has been the best friend I could have ever asked for during all this.  He knows exactly when I need him and helps me so much.  He is the perfect 3rd member to our little family.  

I'll leave you with a quote by Beth Davis: 

"And in her smile, I see something more beautiful than the stars."

Day 91. (12 Days After.)

People will ask me when I'll be home and I as I say "January 6th" the reactions are always "that's so soon!" or "that's not bad at all", but in reality, now that Skyler has come and gone, I'm ready to be back home with him and our pup. It's our first Christmas together and we are spending it apart, how masocistic of us. No amount of "you've only got a month left" will make that any easier. 

I miss him. I wish somehow I could explain to you how much the definition of missing someone has changed for me since being here. Skyler brings a light and a happiness into my life that I can't explain, and the darkness is lonely without him. But, I don't want this post to be a downer, so instead I'll talk about the amazing five days we spent together while he was here. 

Day 1:

Not only did I get to spend five days with my babe, but I also got to see my dad smile. THAT made it all worth it. The four of us took on Disney World like true tourists and after a stressful day of dealing with a scam-tastic rental car place and waiting what felt like HOURS at the airport for Skyler's flight to land, we went to Mickey's Very Merry  Christmas Party. My dad cried as he saw the castle for the first time, and again wen we walked into Main Street, and again during the parade, and probably a few more times I didn't notice because I was too busy kissing my boyfriend. The point is, it was incredible seeing my dad happy, and showing Amanda Disney for her first time ever was something I'll never forget. 

The lines were short during the party and we rode all the major rides, barely saw the fireworks, watched the cutest parade ever, and were about ready to pass out by the end of it. 

Day 2:

Hollywood studios. After waking up a few hours later than we originally planned we got ready, first thing we HAD to do was see the Indiana Jones stunt show. I suffered through that and then all my dreams came true. I GOT AN ICEE IN A BAYMAX CUP. 

And we shared it.

I don't know if this is gross or dumb or whatever, but my favorite thing about Skyker is that we always always share food and drinks. It's our thing, and I've missed it being here without him. Skyler scored extra boyfriend points this day because once we were done he carried that cup in his backpack. 

(Check out his beautiful hair.)

Then if that wasn't enough, we MET Baymax and Hiro.

I guess you could say I'm kind of obsessed with big hero 6 right now, but it's fine. We rode Rockin roller coaster and tower of terror, and were there on Streets of America for the lighting of the Osborn lights. Skyler stole my line in his post, but truly, there were four million dancing lights and I caught myself staring at him way more. How did I get so lucky?

We finished the night with watching Fantasmic! (Dad cried again) and went to downtown Disney to eat Earl of Sandwich. I got the Hawaiian BBQ and Skyler got the Ruben, we both ate half of each. ❤️

Day 3:

The morning started with Animal Kingdom. We rode the Safari, fell more in love, saw the Lion King show, and my dad braved Everest. This day we shared the best chicken curry (I don't know why you care about what we eat, but oh well) and we even saw the new baby gorilla! 

Then that night we went to Epcot, where we had reservations to eat at Coral Reef. The food was average but the atmosphere was amazing. We watched the sea turtles and manta rays swim so carelessly and reveled in the tranquility and peace underwater life brings both of us. We ventured around the world, and called it a night. 

Day 4: 

It rained buckets. Or as people in Disney sometimes say, it was raining Maries and Plutos outside. That didn't stop us from taking on magic kingdom again! The parade and everything was canceled because of the rain but we rode more rides, and played in puddles, and I was happy even though I was freezing and soaked because I had the world in my hand, and by the world I mean my world, and by my world I mean Skyler. 

Ew gross. More kissing.

Day 5:

This last day was a blur. As if two times wasn't enough, we went one more time to Magic Kingdom. I had to work at 3 and we subconsciously counted down the time until I had to leave. We shared food one more time and hugged tighter than usual. Saying goodbye sucks, and this one was extremely sucky since I was saying goodbye to him and my family (I think my dad cried).. But I picked up a shift that day for the sole purpose of having something to keep my mind off it. He was gone. and the only silver lining is the next time I see him, there will be no expiration date. 

Our relationship started with one, we knew I was coming here before we even made things official, and all summer we worked up to it. The whole time he was visiting we knew we had limited time together, and I can't wait for our moments to finally be limitless. When I touch down in the airport on January 6th, 36 days from now, I'm there to stay. And the only day I can count down to is our wedding day (if the boy would just freaking propose already.)

I love you Skyler. 

I'll be home soon. 

xoxo

Whitney

8 Days After.

Hey everyone, it's me and Sawyer here.

Well.. I don't even know where to begin.

I GOT TO SEE WHITNEY AND HOLD HER AND KISS HER. YES! BEST DAYS OF MY LIFE!

Okay, now that I got that out of my system, I'm gonna write.

It's 4:30 pm and I'm ready to leave my house to make the five hour drive up to Salt Lake to stay the night and then fly out of SLC to go to Florida! I tell Whit that I'm leaving and she says "did you find that pair of boots?" No.. I couldn't find them, I looked but I really needed to get on the road, sorry.

"They're the only thing I want from home. I don't think I'm asking very much. They're inside the closet in a garbage bag."

An hour, 4 garbage bags, 3 boxes and 2 closets later, I still can't find them.  And then I remember, she left a box in my front room closet, where I keep my dog food. Thinking, why not, I open the box and start digging. And sure enough, there is the pair of boots.

That's almost like the hall closet in a garbage bag, right?
(needless to say, this one will never die.)

Anyhow! I get up to Salt Lake, we skype for a bit and then I go to sleep because I have to wake up at around 6 a.m. to get to the airport on time.  I wake up, get all ready for the day and get on my plane.  I find my seat and fall asleep for a little bit, but end up reading for most of the flight to my layover in Minneapolis.  I land, hurry across the ENTIRE airport, end up paying almost $10 for a coke and a slice of pizza, then board my next plane.  The last thing I have to do before I see her. In a matter of hours, I'd be back in her arms again and I'd be happy.  I get to sit next to the coolest old guy on this flight. His name was Bill Tureg (not sure on the spelling.) but he was a nuclear physicist and explained to me how reactors worked. Most of the time, I just nodded my head and pretended that I understood what he was saying. So my flight to Orlando was comfortable and entertaining. It felt like it was 8 hours long when it was really only 3-ish.

I land and text Whitney and her dad and tell them I just landed. Whitney said that her friend had to work and couldn't bring her to the airport, and I said that's okay.  I didn't expect to see her there anyway and it would only be an extra 30 minutes before I saw her. Her dad says to follow the signs for baggage claim and he'd be waiting for me there. I get my luggage from overhead and whitney is just barraging me with all these texts like "hurry and get here, I can't wait anymore." and I keep telling her that I'm at the back of the plane, I can't control how fast the people in front of me get off.

She really needed to relax.

I finally get off the plane and follow the signs and see her dad and his girlfriend standing there waiting. I walk up and say it took forever, apologize, and I hear, in the most beautiful voice I've ever heard, "BABE!" I turn and there she is! The dumb little liar! She was hiding around the corner and we hugged tighter than ever before and kissed and laughed and she started to cry a little bit and I got to hold her and choke on her hair again and breathe in her scent and see her green eyes and my world was whole once again.

The next days went by in a blur, we were busy from sunrise to midnight every single day. But we did everything in all the parks. It was perfect and way too short of a trip. 

Some highlights:

Whitney took me out to a really fancy dinner in an aquarium and watched me look like a little kid in a candy store at all the fish. (I'm studying to be a marine-biologist.)

Walking around Epcot and seeing all the countries together, acting all sophisticated and grown-up, getting little things from various countries. (We even French kissed in France.)

The safari ride in Animal Kingdom. We both love animals and were so fascinated by this and we held hands and it was perfect. We're planning to go on a real safari now.
  

The Osbourne lights in Hollywood Studios. There are over 4 million lights set up but not a single one can compare to her. (gag. but really it's true.)

And my favorite, playing in puddles. One of the days, it was raining really really hard and pooling up in certain places. At one point, it was up to our shins and we decided that there was no way to avoid it.  People were lifting up their pant legs and trying to walk around it but whitney and I decided to jump right in the middle of the puddles, in the huge group of people. I was kicking water at her and trying to get her wet but I accidentally got this innocent bystander girl and she gave me the death-stare of a lifetime. But it doesn't matter. Because we were laughing and in our own world for the first time in almost 3 months.

(NOT ENGAGED. We were practing with rings at the jewelry shop.)

And then.. the last day came. It was awful. Terrible. We both had an impending sense of doom counting down the hours until she had to go clock in.  We were able to get some food together, for the last time, before she had to work.  We finished our food and I walked her to her entrance to the locker room, kissed her, she kissed me, kissed my cheek, and said bye.. As I was walking away, my heart started to break so I yelled her name in the middle of a mob of people and as she turned, I gave the ASL sign for "I love you." and she saw it, smiled, and walked through the door.

I haven't seen her since.

The days since have been.. well.. awful. It's really hard for me to be whole again and then have that end as quickly as it started. but. the time we spent together was so amazing. I would just look over at her and she would be radiating light. Nobody else could see it, I'm sure, but I could.  I see her through a different set of eyes than I see the rest of the world.  I hear her laugh and I get goosebumps knowing that she's the person I get to be with forever. I get to hear that melodic sound for the rest of my existence.  I see her smile and feel a warmth that I can't feel anywhere else.  There's something about this girl that changes my entire life every single time I'm with her.  I've said it a million times before, but I mean it, this girl brought the color back into my black and white world.  She's one in seven-point-something billion and she's mine.  I can't believe it.

(oh yeah.. She's been pestering me about proposing to her for months and I've been saying no. but now that I'm back, I really wish I would have done it. She was right.)

but either way, we're going to get married. I can't be without this girl for the rest of time.  There's nobody else that will do.

6.6.15

Skyler.

Day 74.

It's Christmas. Well, it's like Christmas. Because it's 2:30 in the morning and I can't sleep with the anticipation that I get to see my babes tomorrow. That's right folks, my boyfriend is coming to visit. Instead of sleeping and preparing for the long day we have planned tomorrow, I'm just cuddling with my new Baymax plush and counting down the hours until I get to hold him in my arms. 

I haven't written in a while because not much has changed. Work is the same, and my sleep schedule is still messed up. There is no such thing as a circadian rhythm when you work for The Mouse. Most of my days off are spent watching Nerflix in my bed, but when I feel like getting out of the house and being a human I'll go hang out with friends. I've become super close with some people I work with in fantasyland, and even a couple girls I met the first day. We went to Halloween Horror nights a few more times and even had a halloween party.

 My aunt and uncle, Dory and Jerry, were here for a weekend and it was good seeing them. Dory and I went to Seaworld, which was much needed. I discovered that my spirit animal is a walrus. To finish the trip they met me after work and we watched the parade and fireworks at MK. I don't think the understand how much it meant to see them, but it was incredible. 

I turned 21. For my birthday we went to this place called Cowboys (it wasn't my choice) and the people there had line dances to every single song that came on. Who LINE DANCES to Anaconda by Nikki Minaj. Why is that a thing? Just, no. Needless to say I won't go back there ever. But we had fun I guess, and it was nice to dress up.

I feel like I'm stuck in a time warp here. The days start to feel the same. I'll go two whole weeks without calling my mom having it feel like I called her yesterday, yet it seems like years since I've seen my puppy.

(IMPORTANT ANNOUNCENT: Skyler taught Sawyer to roll over. It's the cutest thing. We have the smartest dog in the world guys.)

Skyler, my dad, and Amanda will be here tomorrow, so forgive me anyone who follows me on social media. We are going to nauseate you. We will be THAT couple in Disneyworld and you're just going to have to deal with it.  Because we are in love. And this is how love conquers everything. ❤️

(More pictures to come, I forgot they're all on my laptop already.)

Day 48.

This college program thing isn't easy. 

CPs (college program slaves) get the worst hours, and the bus system is unreliably inconvenient. Just last weekend I worked one night until 4:15 am and the next night until 2:30. Combine that with the fact that I'm homesick, not sleeping well, and the world I left at home with Skyler seems to be slipping away, and you've got yourself a hot mess. Which pretty much describes what my hair looks like every day too.

It's not only hard for me, it's hard on everyone, and this last week we lost another roommate. Taylor (or teller as we would call her) went home on Thursday morning. She had injured herself at work, her mom was recovering from surgery, and she was miserable. Teller always made me laugh! It was hard to see her go and we miss her, her delightfully negative presence is obviously missing from our home, but I'm glad she's doing what makes her happy. And that she "learned how to kitchen" while she was here. 

We (Taylor Amber and I) celebrated her leaving by going out to dinner Tuesday night at this awesome Irish pub in downtown Disney, tried to do the kitchen sink challenge at Beaches and Cream and failed miserably, and spent the night Wednesday night in magic kingdom. It was quite the send off, and now I'm not sure who will make me yaygels, but I'll have to survive. 

Besides the stress, bug bites, poor phone service and toxic mold growing in my bathroom, I'm having a grand old time. I've been to food and wine at Epcot a couple times, went bowling at Splitsville, Chelsea and I went to the CHVRCHES concert which was so amazing!!! (Basically anything you do that isn't Disney related seems like the best thing ever.) Thursday night I bought a frequent fear pass for Halloween Horror Nights at Universal Studios and went with some coworkers. We went through all 8 of the haunted houses in one night AND watched the rocky horror tribute. Since I'm a sucker for carnival games, so I won the creepiest chuckie doll I can scare Skyler with for the rest of forever. 

Speaking of that boy, don't worry, we're doing good. Being apart is incredibly hard and I wouldn't wish this emptiness on anyone, but we have made it this far, and we can continue to make it. He's such an important part of my life and I can't wait for him to be here already so I can walk down Main Street USA and it will finally feel like the Happiest Place On Earth. 

You know that saying "absence makes the heart grow fonder?" Well, I think I they got it wrong. Being away from the one you love makes your heart sick. You feel hollow and like you're perpetually hollowing, so of course once you're reunited you're going to feel like you love them more. But the reality is, your heart has just been warn down to a point of  weakness you haven't known until now, which strengthens only your perspective. I know now more than ever that I'm the most at peace when I'm around my Skyler, and once this thing is over, I hope I never have to be away from that.

Day 26.9.

"Today, we sailed on."

 

 

Christopher Columbus wrote these words in his journal every day on his journey in search of the New World.  Through storm-tossed seas and nights that seemed to last forever, they simply sailed on.

 

And that is what I have had to do for the last 26 days. 

 

Things aren't all bad, no. At times, I'm really happy. I have a few friends here, a loving family, a great girlfriend, a nice job, a roof over my head, beautiful weather, the world's greatest puppy, and bluegrass music. (Funny story about bluegrass music. I was in the shower the other morning with my phone playing my music, I got two phone calls during that shower that messed up my music and I finally yelled "STOP CALLING ME I'M TRYING TO LISTEN TO BLUEGRASS GOSH DANG IT." My roommate, Eric, can confirm.)

 

That being said, I have an amazing life and I'm so lucky. What could make me happier? What more could I need?

 

Well.. her.

 

I miss her. I'm frustrated to no end because I have the most amazing woman in the world, she's mine and nobody else ever gets to have her, I get to spend my forever with her, and that's amazing. But for these next 4 months, I don't get to come over and wrap myself in her arms. I don't get to take a nap with her wild head of hair nearly suffocating me.  I don't get kisses in the rain or walks in the park or movie nights or anything. I get to sit at home (partly by choice, partly because I hate people.) and read a book or play xbox or just sit in the quiet and look at my cool new lava lamp. (There's something exciting! I got a lava lamp!)

 

But nothing really matters because she's gone.

 

She's gone and she's not coming back even if I beg her. (I do.) ((All the time.)) I have to go through these 4 months sans my love, half of my heart, and it's a hard adjustment that I'm really struggling with.  I find myself grumpier lately, having more anxiety (Hi, I'm Skyler and I have really bad separation anxiety, want to do a long-distance relationship?) and feeling less joy from the things I normally enjoy. Like singing, for instance. I love to sing. It's a passion of mine and I am lucky enough to have 2 choir classes every day at school. We're learning beautiful music and I'm enjoying it and all, but the only thing I can think of during class and performances is "dang.. I wish Whit was here so she could listen to this with me." And so goes most of my life. Things are just as good as they were before, but I'M not as good as I was before. 

 

Whitney is the most incredible girl I've ever met, honest. She's passionate about life and that's something she has taught me. Above all else, to enjoy every day, to be truly IN the moment no matter what the moment is.  If I'm sitting in bed and just reading a book, you better believe I am reading the crap out of that book. And I'm enjoying every minute.  She's loving and patient and forgiving. I'm an annoying person (Sorry Whit, had to quote you.) but she lets that go because she says she loves me. And not only when I buy her things! Like every day she tells me. That's a lot different than anything I'm used to. Coming out of a really bad relationship, I could have gotten someone average and it would have been a 1000x improvement, but I truly got lucky and got an extraordinary girl. Someone who makes me laugh and smile and get stupid grins on my face at school and work from a text she just sent me. Someone that goes out and buys deep conditioner so she can convince me to come over and fall in love with her. Someone who lets me buy a dog and keep it at her house because I can't have it at mine but I still want a dog. Someone who's willing to fight for our relationship to work. You know how easy it would be to just give up and find someone else in Florida? I don't even want to think about it. But she eases my mind every day and tells me that she loves me. She calls me and sends me pictures and somehow convinces herself that I'm worth keeping around. 

 

And I'm so happy she does.

 

Because I aim to marry this girl and you're all invited.

 

So, yes, life is a stormy ocean that kind of sucks most of the time, but for her, I'll do anything.  I'll put myself in an incredibly uncomfortable situation for myself and do a long-distance relationship.  For her, I'll stay loyal and true even though winter is coming up and it's going to be cold without someone to hold me. (Thank goodness I have a dog and blankets.) Heck, for her, I'll even go in a haunted house! (Don't even get me started on our conversation over this one. She won. End of story.)

 

For her, I'll sail on.

(This is a picture Skyler sent me before his chamber choir sang at the schools' commencement ceremony. He cleans up nicely, huh?)

Day 26.

I know what you're all thinking, when do we get to hear from Skyler again? He's a much better writer than me, I know, but he also says he hasn't been doing anything noteworthy. 

His days consist of xbox, potpies and toast, talking to Sawyer, and apparently dancing to bluegrass music in the kitchen. (I didn't even know he liked bluegrass music.) Everyone please pray for his sanity. 

I forgot to tell the best story so far. It was actually a traumatic experience I was leaving out for the purpose of possibly forgetting it ever happened, but Skyler reminded me, and said I have to include it in the blog. So. As my roommates and I were riding the ever so lovely transtar bus back from the hoop-dee-doo, a guy we call "20 questions" got on. He sat right next to Amber and was asking about as many questions as my mom does in one phone call. Well, transtar drivers are really special people. They make sharp turns and just love slamming on the breaks. Out of nowhere the driver abruptly stopped the bus and BAM! I went sliding off my chair right onto the ground. I almost reached for Amber but didn't want to send her flying into stinky question guy and the ground was my only other option.

I started hysterically laughing along with everyone else on the bus and you know what the driver said to me? "What you doing?" Um what does it look like I'm doing, exactly? It was the perfect way to end the night, and reason enough to never wear a silky fabric dress on the bus again. 

I have something exciting to announce: Skyler is officially coming to visit me! :) we booked his flight yesterday and I've made hotel reservations so he HAS to come. I get to see my baby. :) and hug him and kiss him and probably be that gross couple that's making out in the airport baggage claim area. My heart feels like it's about to implode in my chest just thinking about it. He's so far away, and in just over 40 days he will be tangible again. I can run my fingers through that long beautiful hair of his and we'll wear matching t-shirts and share food. 

I miss him. We've fought more over stupid things since I've been here than we ever fought over anything at home. Our emotions are running high and we're both frustrated and exhausted from missing each other this much. It kills me that I can't be home to dry his tears and erase his sorrows. To wipe his cheeks clear of sadness before he can soak his pillowcase. He's sad and I can feel it. 

He's my everything. He's my best friend. And when I was thinking too much one time he said to me, " But your heart knows you love me. Your spirit knows you want to be mine forever. Quit relying on your brain so much, baby. The other two are much truer compasses." 

We need to remember that. As our wandering minds create winds of doubt that erode our positivity, we need to refocus and redirect our compasses back towards each other. Back to the night in the grass at the park when our only worry was what Skyler's mom would say when he was late for curfew, and we'll be just fine. 

Day 22.

Howdy-hi from Florida!

I've finally fallen into the routine of things, and I feel like not a lot has happened since I last wrote, but it has. First thing is, my roommate decided to go home. She was feeling homesick and wasn't liking her job and two of our roommates were being so mean to her that she just finally had enough and left. Kristen was one of the nicest people I've ever met and even though she was only here for a short time, I consider her one of my best friends. On her last day here we went and spent the day at Hollywood Studios. We ate dinner at the Sci-fi diner, this cute place that looks like a drive-in movie and you sit in cars! We rode rock-n-rollercoaster twice, met Mike and Sully, rode tower of terror, and saw Fantasmic! and then the new Frozen themed fireworks.

It was an amazing day and we had to say goodbye the next morning! We have missed Kristen so much every day since she left, but I am happy that she is happy and home with her sweet boyfriend and family!

Last Monday Amber and Taylor and I went to the Hoop-Dee-Doo Review at Fort Wilderness Lodge, which was SO cute! There was all you could eat BBQ pork ribs, fried chicken, mashed potatoes, beans, corn, cornbread, and strawberry shortcake! I know. The drinks came out in mason jars and our waiter Bob had a lazy eye. As if that food wasn't enough to make the discounted tickets worth it, there was also a really cute musical show that went on at the same time! We had so much fun! There was a photopass stop where we took what was probably the worlds cutest photo, but it didn't link up to our card so it's lost forever. Luckily our memories of that night will never fade. (I'm turning into a walking cliche.) Also Amber and Taylor have me hooked on Panera Bread. Panera before anything else.

Other than that it has just been a lot of working. A lot of complaining about my feet hurting, and a lot of eating freezer burritos and drinking ginger ale. Skyler and I have been skyping a lot and we even tried to watch a movie together over skype the other day. (I said tried.) I still miss him. I'll never stop missing him. But I am also incredibly grateful to have such an amazing person by my side that supports me and keeps me calm and makes sure I wake up for work every morning (even if it's at 4 am Utah time) He's the greatest, but you all already know that.

Tonight my friends and I are going to the Mickey's Not So Scary Halloween Party because even though Halloween is a ways away, cast members only got discounted tickets in September. There will be fun trick-or-treating, spooky parades and fireworks, and I heard the villians come out and play tonight too! I can't wait! Also, you better believe I'm going to the party dressed as an ewok. Party party!

Exactly one month until my birthday.
48 days until I get to see my dad (and maybe Skyler! eeep!)
and 105 days until I'm home with cuddling with my puppy.

Have a magical day!

Day 9.

Whitney here.

There are countless things to talk about today. So many exciting things happen when you work for Disney.

First things first! I had an orientation, well Disney calls it  "traditions" to make it sound like something really fun. We did lots of top secret Disney stuff, we got our very own ears, and the boss (Mickey) brought us all our name tags! Also featured in this picture is Donald, Skyler's childhood pal. Right before I left I sprayed it with Skyler's cologne and currently it still smells like him.

I didn't have to work the next day so my friend Ashley and I went to Magic Kingodom just to play! This is a picture of the castle the first time I saw it, and of course we had to meet Ariel. Notice how I'm wearing a white shirt? Well, guess who didn't bring an umbrella with her? And guess who got stuck in a torrential downpour? Yeah, this kid. I also got to experience the iconic stroller-ankle jab my first day. Needless to say we were fully immersed in the Florida experience. It has rained every day since.
 

 

I look like this almost every day. My dad is supposed to be shipping me my rain jacket from home so hopefully that gets here soon. (Hint Hint.) We also get lovely ponchos to wear over our costumes at work! Oh! Speaking of costumes. I'm sure you're dying to see me in mine. We also get to wear lovely slip resistant black shoes with black socks. Needless to say, I'm the epitome of sex appeal.

The costumes are fun though! And the stores that I'm in are full of little girls. Sir Mickey's, our busiest store right behind the castle, has all of the frozen merchandise in it. It's crazier than black Friday in there, but its so fun to see all the kids so excited. Girls will come through dressed as their favorite princesses and it makes me happy when I get to greet them like "Well hello princess Anna, how's Arendelle?" I can't wait until I'm done with training and I can take off my little red "earning my ears" tag and start doing things on my own.

Anytime we have to give directions we have to use the Disney point. Some friends (Chelsea, Matt, and Ashley) and I went to dinner at Benihana last night (holla at cast discounts!) and were photographed modeling this lovely two finger point. I've really made some great friends here and I just keep making more every day. Also the Brazilians sitting at the table with us found it necessary to record their experience with a video camera on a stick. Um, go home. I mean, "Have a magical day."

 Today for "work" I got to go on a four hour tour of the entire Magic Kingdom and learned all about the different attractions and areas of the park. After that I went to the mall with two of my roommates (Taylor and Amber), and we went to the m&m factory! I really am liking all of my roommates and think I definitely got lucky with the girls that I'm living with.

 So yeah. I know that's a lot but now you're all updated on what I've been up to. I''ve already spent way more money than I've made. But the memories I'm making are much more meaningful than the money.

I'm having the time of my life, I am. But... I never knew exactly how much I was going to miss Skyler. I didn't even know it was possible to miss a person this intensely. And I mean it when I say I couldn't do any of this without him. I'm starting to cry right now at the thought of how absolutely lucky I am to have him. He's so thoughtful and supportive and I just... love him. My heart aches to be close to him, and I miss him every second of every day. This week he mailed me the most beautiful promise ring, and I can promise you this: I'm holding on to this boy as long as I can.

Let me leave you with a (cliche) Disney quote and some pixie dust.
"All of your dreams can come true if you have the courage to pursue them." -Walt Disney

Day 4.

"We need to put that cute picture of you and Sawyer on the blog. And you need to talk about the trick you taught him when you get home."

"I'm not trying to tell you what to do, but I am."

- My beautiful Whitney.

So I guess I'll write about that first.  Since Whitney has been gone, our dog (or my dog if he just peed in the house.) has developed a new habit. Whenever I get home from school or work and I haven't seen him for a little bit, he stands up and leans on my legs until I pick him up and 1.) Give him a hug. I tested it earlier this week and we went a solid 5 minutes of him being annoying and obnoxious until I picked him up and held him.  Or 2.) Throw him on his back on the bed and rub his belly until his long pink tongue is hanging out. After I do one of these things, he usually calms down and will lay right next to me.

He's the cutest.

Unsurprisingly, these past days have been hard. I usually do fine during the day, but at night, my mind starts to wander to the dark places I fight to stay out of. Her not sitting across the aisle from me at work really makes me sad because that was the place where we met.  Some of our best memories are sitting at those computers and making each other laugh.  Making work something that we both looked forward to.  (That says something about how much I love being with this girl.)

It's not the fact that she's gone that's hard, we've been apart before.  It's that she isn't coming back anytime soon even though there are hints around the house that make it seem like she could be home tonight.  You see, my friend and I moved into her house when she moved out and she left little ghosts behind when she left. Her notebook and pen on my nightstand, her razors still in the shower, the pillows that still have a hint of her smell. It looks like she's just gone somewhere and will be returning soon.  That is the hardest part for me.

Earlier today, I asked her "how much longer? 16 weeks?" she replied with, "17 weeks and 2 days."
If that's not a good enough indicator of how slow time is passing for me, just know this: Days feel like they're at least 48 hours, if not longer, nights being 36 of those hours.  I get in the shower after work and by the time I'm done feeling sad and daydreaming about her, I realize I've been in for 20 minutes or so.  So I take my sleeping pills and let my dreams carry me to her. I sleep for 7 hours, wake up, go to school, go home, hug my dog, go to work, come home, hug my dog, walk my dog, shower, sleep, repeat.  Routine has become my best friend this last week. (But, on the plus side, I can listen to all the folk music I want.) If I can just make it from one task to another, things will be okay.  I miss her so much but I know we're going to make it through this.  Just hearing her smile over the phone as she talks about how happy she is makes it all worth it.  She has been wanting to do this for a long time now and it's truly a dream come true. (gag) So, of course I'm happy to let her do this.  Her happiness is my northern star and it's what I live for.


4 days down, 123 to go.  Which is basically nothing.

Wish us luck!

Skyler + Sawyer.

Ps. I told her that once she gets back, I have 127 days of doing absolutely anything I want and she can't dispute that. So this isn't turning out to be all bad.