4 days From Forever.

The Disney college program is actually just a legal form of slavery. 

People have been asking me how I liked the program. How is it? Is it so much fun? Oh, I bet you just love it. But HONESTLY (and I can say this because I am leaving in four days) I wouldn't reccomend this program to anyone. And it takes a special kind of person to make it out here. 

1. The housing.

People are making decals that say "I survived vista way" because, well, it's an accomplishment. From cockroaches (no biggie I have those at home too) and lizards and aggressive fat ducks, to black mold growing everywhere and rambunctious foreigners screaming outside your window, vista way is an experience. I have realized that my personal bubble is larger than the average human's, and even though I was blessed with a roommate I enjoy being around, there is an emotional hurdle I've had to get over sharing a room with someone. Since all our other roommates moved out, housing gave us three loud Brazilian girls as well, and privacy is something I'll never take for granted again. 

2. The transportation. 

Oh, transtar. The busses have been more than unpleasant. There have been times I've gotten off of work after a 12 hour shift and waited 58 minutes or longer for a bus to pick me up. On nights where I close and the busses are crowded, a group of CPs turns into a mob of people attacking one bus, just to be packed tighter than the ships that transported slaves over from Africa. 

3. The lack of benefits.

CPs aren't given holiday pay, but are scheduled to work every holiday. We aren't paid overtime. We do the exact same jobs as full time and part time cast members, sometimes working twice as hard and twice as long as they do, and we don't see any of the rewards. All we see is $90 a week coming out of our checks to pay for the housing and busses I talked about up there^.

So no, I wouldn't do this program again.  And maybe I am just a negative person, but if you're thinking about doing the program here's what you need. 

-don't leave a boyfriend/girlfriend/life at home. 

-come AFTER you graduate college so you don't have to do online classes at the same time. 

-bring a car no matter what 

-either save up or have rich parents that can send you money every week so you can give most of your shifts away and you aren't working 40-60 hours a week. 

So the real question is, am I glad I did it? 

Absolutely.

If anything I have learned that I can do hard things. I didn't give up once (even though Skyler probably wishes I would have) and I "survived." I made some of the most amazing friends, and memories I will cherish forever. (I would work for Disney again in a heartbeat, they're an amazing company, but under different circumstances.) I have learned to tolerate people, I have learned to master the fake smile, and above anything else I have learned that Skyler and I can make it through anything. I told him the other day that I hope in 2015 we only spend a total of 6 days apart, he didn't get it, but I was trying to be cute. (Because I come home on the 6th? Come on.)

So here's some final pictures. Some added memories to go along with the stories I'll tell when I get home, and this is me saying goodbye to the blog and goodbye to Disney. It's been magical, but I'm ready to return home to my prince. 

xoxo 

Whitney

U.S. standing around for the the filming of the Christmas parade.

We had a special graduation party.

Skyler and I Skyped a lot. We officially hate all technology. But look cute he is. 

Jelly rolls: Disney's dueling piano bar.

CHRISTMAS.

My last day in purples. (Also the last day I ever have to listen to the Frozen soundtrack on repeat. Thank goodness.)

Spent New Years in Bonjour with these beautiful girls! 

And I officially get to wear this sweatshirt. Boom. 

7 More Nights.

"We made it."

Oh, how I am longing to say these words as I wrap her in a hug. Salt Lake City International Airport sounds like the most romantic place on this planet at this point.  There's nothing I want more than to have her run off of her plane and jump into my arms.  And now, I only have to wait 7 days until that's a reality.

Seven days.

It's closer than I ever thought we'd be and, honestly, I didn't think I would make it this far.  I thought I could have tricked her into coming home before it got to this point.  But now that we're here, I'm so incredibly proud of her.  She has been working 40+ hours a week for 4 months and surviving the Disney College Program.  She has enjoyed it, made new friends, made memories that will hopefully last forever, blah blah blah stuff I tell myself to make this okay, etc.  But I really am excited for her.  She has been wanting to do this for a long time and she finally made it a reality.  

Yes, I've been lonely.

I've been sad.

I've been scared.

I've been a million things since she has been gone, but that doesn't matter now.

We made it.

I find myself in better spirits lately, the last few days, and I think it's because my heart can feel hers getting closer.  I am starting to realize that it is over, for the most part, and we're in the final stretch.  I have made it through 120 days apart and I only have 7 left.  I can do this. 

I need to thank Whit, though, for being so awesome while she's been gone.  I didn't expect much from her when she left because I knew it was going to be so hard for her to work and try and balance me.  I was ready to take a back seat to everything there and thankfully, I haven't felt that way once.  She has been incredibly caring and always been here for me to talk to about anything that's going on in my life.  If I needed her to distract me from something, she'd call me.  She Skype'd with me on nights I was lonely, called me every day, sent me beautiful pictures, did everything in her power to make me feel comfortable and loved.  She has been a million times better than I ever deserved and I can't wait to repay it.  

(She even got me the coolest present for christmas! A new slackline for us to use together in the spring and summer!)

Anyway, I really don't deserve her and I'm blown away by how great she has been to me while she's been gone.  It gets me really excited for the time we have ahead of us and how much love we're going to be able to show for one another. 

She truly brings a rainbow of color into my world of gray.

So now, when things get hard in the future, when we start to get on each others' nerves, when she gets sick of my puns and I get sick of being the one to always have to walk Sawyer (which won't really happen. He's my best friend.), we can look back on this time and realize that time apart is never better than time together.  We had enough time apart to last an eternity and I hope I never have to go through that again.

Just a little update on how things are going here with Sawyer and I:  I got home tonight and heated up a roll with peanut butter and honey on it, went to the bathroom, and came back to the bedroom, only to see sawyer licking his lips and trying to get the peanut butter out of his mouth.  He has also found out how to open his kennel with his paws, so now I have to tie the door shut with something as well as close the latches.  He has recently acquired a taste for anything that's not his toys.  Mainly shoes, jackets, blankets, a ball-point pen that he broke and got ink on 4 of my blankets and the mattress (sorry Whit.....) Basically anything that will make me mad when I get off work at midnight.  We walk every day except in the most extreme of St. George colds, he has really gotten good at speaking and rolling over, he loves to chase a baseball at the park, loves to run in the sand volleyball courts, pretty much never leaves my side.  This little pup has been the best friend I could have ever asked for during all this.  He knows exactly when I need him and helps me so much.  He is the perfect 3rd member to our little family.  

I'll leave you with a quote by Beth Davis: 

"And in her smile, I see something more beautiful than the stars."

Day 91. (12 Days After.)

People will ask me when I'll be home and I as I say "January 6th" the reactions are always "that's so soon!" or "that's not bad at all", but in reality, now that Skyler has come and gone, I'm ready to be back home with him and our pup. It's our first Christmas together and we are spending it apart, how masocistic of us. No amount of "you've only got a month left" will make that any easier. 

I miss him. I wish somehow I could explain to you how much the definition of missing someone has changed for me since being here. Skyler brings a light and a happiness into my life that I can't explain, and the darkness is lonely without him. But, I don't want this post to be a downer, so instead I'll talk about the amazing five days we spent together while he was here. 

Day 1:

Not only did I get to spend five days with my babe, but I also got to see my dad smile. THAT made it all worth it. The four of us took on Disney World like true tourists and after a stressful day of dealing with a scam-tastic rental car place and waiting what felt like HOURS at the airport for Skyler's flight to land, we went to Mickey's Very Merry  Christmas Party. My dad cried as he saw the castle for the first time, and again wen we walked into Main Street, and again during the parade, and probably a few more times I didn't notice because I was too busy kissing my boyfriend. The point is, it was incredible seeing my dad happy, and showing Amanda Disney for her first time ever was something I'll never forget. 

The lines were short during the party and we rode all the major rides, barely saw the fireworks, watched the cutest parade ever, and were about ready to pass out by the end of it. 

Day 2:

Hollywood studios. After waking up a few hours later than we originally planned we got ready, first thing we HAD to do was see the Indiana Jones stunt show. I suffered through that and then all my dreams came true. I GOT AN ICEE IN A BAYMAX CUP. 

And we shared it.

I don't know if this is gross or dumb or whatever, but my favorite thing about Skyker is that we always always share food and drinks. It's our thing, and I've missed it being here without him. Skyler scored extra boyfriend points this day because once we were done he carried that cup in his backpack. 

(Check out his beautiful hair.)

Then if that wasn't enough, we MET Baymax and Hiro.

I guess you could say I'm kind of obsessed with big hero 6 right now, but it's fine. We rode Rockin roller coaster and tower of terror, and were there on Streets of America for the lighting of the Osborn lights. Skyler stole my line in his post, but truly, there were four million dancing lights and I caught myself staring at him way more. How did I get so lucky?

We finished the night with watching Fantasmic! (Dad cried again) and went to downtown Disney to eat Earl of Sandwich. I got the Hawaiian BBQ and Skyler got the Ruben, we both ate half of each. ❤️

Day 3:

The morning started with Animal Kingdom. We rode the Safari, fell more in love, saw the Lion King show, and my dad braved Everest. This day we shared the best chicken curry (I don't know why you care about what we eat, but oh well) and we even saw the new baby gorilla! 

Then that night we went to Epcot, where we had reservations to eat at Coral Reef. The food was average but the atmosphere was amazing. We watched the sea turtles and manta rays swim so carelessly and reveled in the tranquility and peace underwater life brings both of us. We ventured around the world, and called it a night. 

Day 4: 

It rained buckets. Or as people in Disney sometimes say, it was raining Maries and Plutos outside. That didn't stop us from taking on magic kingdom again! The parade and everything was canceled because of the rain but we rode more rides, and played in puddles, and I was happy even though I was freezing and soaked because I had the world in my hand, and by the world I mean my world, and by my world I mean Skyler. 

Ew gross. More kissing.

Day 5:

This last day was a blur. As if two times wasn't enough, we went one more time to Magic Kingdom. I had to work at 3 and we subconsciously counted down the time until I had to leave. We shared food one more time and hugged tighter than usual. Saying goodbye sucks, and this one was extremely sucky since I was saying goodbye to him and my family (I think my dad cried).. But I picked up a shift that day for the sole purpose of having something to keep my mind off it. He was gone. and the only silver lining is the next time I see him, there will be no expiration date. 

Our relationship started with one, we knew I was coming here before we even made things official, and all summer we worked up to it. The whole time he was visiting we knew we had limited time together, and I can't wait for our moments to finally be limitless. When I touch down in the airport on January 6th, 36 days from now, I'm there to stay. And the only day I can count down to is our wedding day (if the boy would just freaking propose already.)

I love you Skyler. 

I'll be home soon. 

xoxo

Whitney

8 Days After.

Hey everyone, it's me and Sawyer here.

Well.. I don't even know where to begin.

I GOT TO SEE WHITNEY AND HOLD HER AND KISS HER. YES! BEST DAYS OF MY LIFE!

Okay, now that I got that out of my system, I'm gonna write.

It's 4:30 pm and I'm ready to leave my house to make the five hour drive up to Salt Lake to stay the night and then fly out of SLC to go to Florida! I tell Whit that I'm leaving and she says "did you find that pair of boots?" No.. I couldn't find them, I looked but I really needed to get on the road, sorry.

"They're the only thing I want from home. I don't think I'm asking very much. They're inside the closet in a garbage bag."

An hour, 4 garbage bags, 3 boxes and 2 closets later, I still can't find them.  And then I remember, she left a box in my front room closet, where I keep my dog food. Thinking, why not, I open the box and start digging. And sure enough, there is the pair of boots.

That's almost like the hall closet in a garbage bag, right?
(needless to say, this one will never die.)

Anyhow! I get up to Salt Lake, we skype for a bit and then I go to sleep because I have to wake up at around 6 a.m. to get to the airport on time.  I wake up, get all ready for the day and get on my plane.  I find my seat and fall asleep for a little bit, but end up reading for most of the flight to my layover in Minneapolis.  I land, hurry across the ENTIRE airport, end up paying almost $10 for a coke and a slice of pizza, then board my next plane.  The last thing I have to do before I see her. In a matter of hours, I'd be back in her arms again and I'd be happy.  I get to sit next to the coolest old guy on this flight. His name was Bill Tureg (not sure on the spelling.) but he was a nuclear physicist and explained to me how reactors worked. Most of the time, I just nodded my head and pretended that I understood what he was saying. So my flight to Orlando was comfortable and entertaining. It felt like it was 8 hours long when it was really only 3-ish.

I land and text Whitney and her dad and tell them I just landed. Whitney said that her friend had to work and couldn't bring her to the airport, and I said that's okay.  I didn't expect to see her there anyway and it would only be an extra 30 minutes before I saw her. Her dad says to follow the signs for baggage claim and he'd be waiting for me there. I get my luggage from overhead and whitney is just barraging me with all these texts like "hurry and get here, I can't wait anymore." and I keep telling her that I'm at the back of the plane, I can't control how fast the people in front of me get off.

She really needed to relax.

I finally get off the plane and follow the signs and see her dad and his girlfriend standing there waiting. I walk up and say it took forever, apologize, and I hear, in the most beautiful voice I've ever heard, "BABE!" I turn and there she is! The dumb little liar! She was hiding around the corner and we hugged tighter than ever before and kissed and laughed and she started to cry a little bit and I got to hold her and choke on her hair again and breathe in her scent and see her green eyes and my world was whole once again.

The next days went by in a blur, we were busy from sunrise to midnight every single day. But we did everything in all the parks. It was perfect and way too short of a trip. 

Some highlights:

Whitney took me out to a really fancy dinner in an aquarium and watched me look like a little kid in a candy store at all the fish. (I'm studying to be a marine-biologist.)

Walking around Epcot and seeing all the countries together, acting all sophisticated and grown-up, getting little things from various countries. (We even French kissed in France.)

The safari ride in Animal Kingdom. We both love animals and were so fascinated by this and we held hands and it was perfect. We're planning to go on a real safari now.
  

The Osbourne lights in Hollywood Studios. There are over 4 million lights set up but not a single one can compare to her. (gag. but really it's true.)

And my favorite, playing in puddles. One of the days, it was raining really really hard and pooling up in certain places. At one point, it was up to our shins and we decided that there was no way to avoid it.  People were lifting up their pant legs and trying to walk around it but whitney and I decided to jump right in the middle of the puddles, in the huge group of people. I was kicking water at her and trying to get her wet but I accidentally got this innocent bystander girl and she gave me the death-stare of a lifetime. But it doesn't matter. Because we were laughing and in our own world for the first time in almost 3 months.

(NOT ENGAGED. We were practing with rings at the jewelry shop.)

And then.. the last day came. It was awful. Terrible. We both had an impending sense of doom counting down the hours until she had to go clock in.  We were able to get some food together, for the last time, before she had to work.  We finished our food and I walked her to her entrance to the locker room, kissed her, she kissed me, kissed my cheek, and said bye.. As I was walking away, my heart started to break so I yelled her name in the middle of a mob of people and as she turned, I gave the ASL sign for "I love you." and she saw it, smiled, and walked through the door.

I haven't seen her since.

The days since have been.. well.. awful. It's really hard for me to be whole again and then have that end as quickly as it started. but. the time we spent together was so amazing. I would just look over at her and she would be radiating light. Nobody else could see it, I'm sure, but I could.  I see her through a different set of eyes than I see the rest of the world.  I hear her laugh and I get goosebumps knowing that she's the person I get to be with forever. I get to hear that melodic sound for the rest of my existence.  I see her smile and feel a warmth that I can't feel anywhere else.  There's something about this girl that changes my entire life every single time I'm with her.  I've said it a million times before, but I mean it, this girl brought the color back into my black and white world.  She's one in seven-point-something billion and she's mine.  I can't believe it.

(oh yeah.. She's been pestering me about proposing to her for months and I've been saying no. but now that I'm back, I really wish I would have done it. She was right.)

but either way, we're going to get married. I can't be without this girl for the rest of time.  There's nobody else that will do.

6.6.15

Skyler.

Day 74.

It's Christmas. Well, it's like Christmas. Because it's 2:30 in the morning and I can't sleep with the anticipation that I get to see my babes tomorrow. That's right folks, my boyfriend is coming to visit. Instead of sleeping and preparing for the long day we have planned tomorrow, I'm just cuddling with my new Baymax plush and counting down the hours until I get to hold him in my arms. 

I haven't written in a while because not much has changed. Work is the same, and my sleep schedule is still messed up. There is no such thing as a circadian rhythm when you work for The Mouse. Most of my days off are spent watching Nerflix in my bed, but when I feel like getting out of the house and being a human I'll go hang out with friends. I've become super close with some people I work with in fantasyland, and even a couple girls I met the first day. We went to Halloween Horror nights a few more times and even had a halloween party.

 My aunt and uncle, Dory and Jerry, were here for a weekend and it was good seeing them. Dory and I went to Seaworld, which was much needed. I discovered that my spirit animal is a walrus. To finish the trip they met me after work and we watched the parade and fireworks at MK. I don't think the understand how much it meant to see them, but it was incredible. 

I turned 21. For my birthday we went to this place called Cowboys (it wasn't my choice) and the people there had line dances to every single song that came on. Who LINE DANCES to Anaconda by Nikki Minaj. Why is that a thing? Just, no. Needless to say I won't go back there ever. But we had fun I guess, and it was nice to dress up.

I feel like I'm stuck in a time warp here. The days start to feel the same. I'll go two whole weeks without calling my mom having it feel like I called her yesterday, yet it seems like years since I've seen my puppy.

(IMPORTANT ANNOUNCENT: Skyler taught Sawyer to roll over. It's the cutest thing. We have the smartest dog in the world guys.)

Skyler, my dad, and Amanda will be here tomorrow, so forgive me anyone who follows me on social media. We are going to nauseate you. We will be THAT couple in Disneyworld and you're just going to have to deal with it.  Because we are in love. And this is how love conquers everything. ❤️

(More pictures to come, I forgot they're all on my laptop already.)

Day 48.

This college program thing isn't easy. 

CPs (college program slaves) get the worst hours, and the bus system is unreliably inconvenient. Just last weekend I worked one night until 4:15 am and the next night until 2:30. Combine that with the fact that I'm homesick, not sleeping well, and the world I left at home with Skyler seems to be slipping away, and you've got yourself a hot mess. Which pretty much describes what my hair looks like every day too.

It's not only hard for me, it's hard on everyone, and this last week we lost another roommate. Taylor (or teller as we would call her) went home on Thursday morning. She had injured herself at work, her mom was recovering from surgery, and she was miserable. Teller always made me laugh! It was hard to see her go and we miss her, her delightfully negative presence is obviously missing from our home, but I'm glad she's doing what makes her happy. And that she "learned how to kitchen" while she was here. 

We (Taylor Amber and I) celebrated her leaving by going out to dinner Tuesday night at this awesome Irish pub in downtown Disney, tried to do the kitchen sink challenge at Beaches and Cream and failed miserably, and spent the night Wednesday night in magic kingdom. It was quite the send off, and now I'm not sure who will make me yaygels, but I'll have to survive. 

Besides the stress, bug bites, poor phone service and toxic mold growing in my bathroom, I'm having a grand old time. I've been to food and wine at Epcot a couple times, went bowling at Splitsville, Chelsea and I went to the CHVRCHES concert which was so amazing!!! (Basically anything you do that isn't Disney related seems like the best thing ever.) Thursday night I bought a frequent fear pass for Halloween Horror Nights at Universal Studios and went with some coworkers. We went through all 8 of the haunted houses in one night AND watched the rocky horror tribute. Since I'm a sucker for carnival games, so I won the creepiest chuckie doll I can scare Skyler with for the rest of forever. 

Speaking of that boy, don't worry, we're doing good. Being apart is incredibly hard and I wouldn't wish this emptiness on anyone, but we have made it this far, and we can continue to make it. He's such an important part of my life and I can't wait for him to be here already so I can walk down Main Street USA and it will finally feel like the Happiest Place On Earth. 

You know that saying "absence makes the heart grow fonder?" Well, I think I they got it wrong. Being away from the one you love makes your heart sick. You feel hollow and like you're perpetually hollowing, so of course once you're reunited you're going to feel like you love them more. But the reality is, your heart has just been warn down to a point of  weakness you haven't known until now, which strengthens only your perspective. I know now more than ever that I'm the most at peace when I'm around my Skyler, and once this thing is over, I hope I never have to be away from that.

Day 26.9.

"Today, we sailed on."

 

 

Christopher Columbus wrote these words in his journal every day on his journey in search of the New World.  Through storm-tossed seas and nights that seemed to last forever, they simply sailed on.

 

And that is what I have had to do for the last 26 days. 

 

Things aren't all bad, no. At times, I'm really happy. I have a few friends here, a loving family, a great girlfriend, a nice job, a roof over my head, beautiful weather, the world's greatest puppy, and bluegrass music. (Funny story about bluegrass music. I was in the shower the other morning with my phone playing my music, I got two phone calls during that shower that messed up my music and I finally yelled "STOP CALLING ME I'M TRYING TO LISTEN TO BLUEGRASS GOSH DANG IT." My roommate, Eric, can confirm.)

 

That being said, I have an amazing life and I'm so lucky. What could make me happier? What more could I need?

 

Well.. her.

 

I miss her. I'm frustrated to no end because I have the most amazing woman in the world, she's mine and nobody else ever gets to have her, I get to spend my forever with her, and that's amazing. But for these next 4 months, I don't get to come over and wrap myself in her arms. I don't get to take a nap with her wild head of hair nearly suffocating me.  I don't get kisses in the rain or walks in the park or movie nights or anything. I get to sit at home (partly by choice, partly because I hate people.) and read a book or play xbox or just sit in the quiet and look at my cool new lava lamp. (There's something exciting! I got a lava lamp!)

 

But nothing really matters because she's gone.

 

She's gone and she's not coming back even if I beg her. (I do.) ((All the time.)) I have to go through these 4 months sans my love, half of my heart, and it's a hard adjustment that I'm really struggling with.  I find myself grumpier lately, having more anxiety (Hi, I'm Skyler and I have really bad separation anxiety, want to do a long-distance relationship?) and feeling less joy from the things I normally enjoy. Like singing, for instance. I love to sing. It's a passion of mine and I am lucky enough to have 2 choir classes every day at school. We're learning beautiful music and I'm enjoying it and all, but the only thing I can think of during class and performances is "dang.. I wish Whit was here so she could listen to this with me." And so goes most of my life. Things are just as good as they were before, but I'M not as good as I was before. 

 

Whitney is the most incredible girl I've ever met, honest. She's passionate about life and that's something she has taught me. Above all else, to enjoy every day, to be truly IN the moment no matter what the moment is.  If I'm sitting in bed and just reading a book, you better believe I am reading the crap out of that book. And I'm enjoying every minute.  She's loving and patient and forgiving. I'm an annoying person (Sorry Whit, had to quote you.) but she lets that go because she says she loves me. And not only when I buy her things! Like every day she tells me. That's a lot different than anything I'm used to. Coming out of a really bad relationship, I could have gotten someone average and it would have been a 1000x improvement, but I truly got lucky and got an extraordinary girl. Someone who makes me laugh and smile and get stupid grins on my face at school and work from a text she just sent me. Someone that goes out and buys deep conditioner so she can convince me to come over and fall in love with her. Someone who lets me buy a dog and keep it at her house because I can't have it at mine but I still want a dog. Someone who's willing to fight for our relationship to work. You know how easy it would be to just give up and find someone else in Florida? I don't even want to think about it. But she eases my mind every day and tells me that she loves me. She calls me and sends me pictures and somehow convinces herself that I'm worth keeping around. 

 

And I'm so happy she does.

 

Because I aim to marry this girl and you're all invited.

 

So, yes, life is a stormy ocean that kind of sucks most of the time, but for her, I'll do anything.  I'll put myself in an incredibly uncomfortable situation for myself and do a long-distance relationship.  For her, I'll stay loyal and true even though winter is coming up and it's going to be cold without someone to hold me. (Thank goodness I have a dog and blankets.) Heck, for her, I'll even go in a haunted house! (Don't even get me started on our conversation over this one. She won. End of story.)

 

For her, I'll sail on.

(This is a picture Skyler sent me before his chamber choir sang at the schools' commencement ceremony. He cleans up nicely, huh?)